Take care of you

The first few weekends without having your kids while going through a divorce can be an emotional roller coaster.  You wonder.. Are they okay? Are they being fed?  Are they wearing sunscreen? You can make yourself sick questioning what's happening when they are with your ex especially if you were the primary caregiver for many years and were there putting them to bed every night.  First and foremost you must remember to take care of you.  I typically use this time to pick up more shifts at work since I won't have to pay a babysitter to watch them, utilizing the available free time.  I also spend time on doing things that I neglected to do while I have the kids like giving myself a manicure/pedicure, plucking my eyebrows all that secret single behavior stuff that single people without kids can do after work or on the weekends.  You should pamper yourself. Go for a walk, do some grocery shopping, clean your house, watch your favorite shows or hell even read!  If you can't put all those questions out of your head, play your favorite music...LOUDLY! Find some other single friends and have a drink..or two :) Having a good circle of friends that know and understand what you are going through is helpful.  Trust their judgement and rely on them for a little while but don't be obsesent, remember they have lives too!  You've trusted your ex around your kids before, you shouldn't worry what's happening.  Once you are over the initial angry, bitter divorcee stage, you'll eventually find your rhythm.  It took me 3 weekends away from my kids to get to this point, but I got here.  I even purchased a book on how to meditate (mostly to try and quiet my inside voices).  Take this time to find you, reinvent yourself.  If you aren't happy, your children won't be, so take very good care of you!