There are estimated to be 100,000,000 love songs ever written. The reason is very likely that love constitutes what's in our souls, so we strive to find that perfect person to complete and fill the void since birth. I have a single Aunt who just turned 60 and she has done well for herself without needing a man. Does she want to find love? Of course she does, but being old fashioned, there won't be sex without marriage, a noble virtue, long since forgotten since the 60's. I have almost a similar view, but only I have to be in a relationship before I'll carry on with intimacy. It doesn't mean I don't want to have sex with a number of unnamed guys around here, but I'm not going to be a notch on a bed post. I have a little bit more respect for myself as well as a service to my kids to show them how to make the right decisions in every aspect of their lives especially when it comes to the ways of love.
As a woman, I would never have thought that women, like men, want and need sex without a relationship. A woman is typically much more emotional and attaches quickly to a man she finds to be an ideal catch. I respect a person's right to have fun and to get what they want, but that right there is a reason why so many men feel as though they can treat perfectly respectable girls like they are whores. They even have a different language in which to prey and entice us. Has a man ever told you that you and him have a "spiritual connection?" That's one way to get a stupid girl in bed. The next time I get this from a guy, he's going to get hog tied to the bed, butt ass naked, and watch me walk out the door and get a latte.
I am not a dating guru, but I'm learning quick how to deflect the wrong guys. I'm an emotional son of a bitch, I put my heart on the outside of my chest when I like someone, and when I really like someone, I can't ever remember what he looked like if it's been days since I've seen him last. I've been even known to stalk from a distance. If he walks in at the bar, I run and hide in the bathroom or outside to smoke a cigarette until I can make sure I look presentable. God forbid I have something in my teeth or a smudge of masscara on my eyelid. Yeah, I'm one of those girls, I don't call it being a perfectionist, I call it overly protective of my self image. But, why the fuck do I do that? He's going to see me either a couple of different ways here, a fuck buddy for the night, a friend, a potential new girlfriend, or someone he didn't even notice when he walked in, so I might as well have been a nun. The dating world is cold and callous and I just love it even more when people tell you to stop looking. How the hell can you stop looking when it's all you think about? The loneliness is palpable when you're a single mom or just a single.
I'll include some tips that I've learned around the way, so pay attention:
1) Don't sext and/or send nudie photos, you're giving into the type of girl he wants, and unless you want to be more then his girl for the night, just don't
2) Take it so slow that a snail just passed you. If this guy is really worth your time, he'll take the time to get to know you
3) When you think you just read all the signs that he likes you, you're probably just behing hopeful. He asks about you, he texts you super early in the morning, he stares at you, he compliments you, don't read so much in between the lines on any of these. Chances are he sees you as a slice of beef.
4) Warning! He has a lot of girls that are friends. The trust will be gone before it even begins.
5) And finally, my best advice having a bar date, is not a real date, and if he comes back to your place after youve been to the bar, it's just about sex.
As negative as this blog is, there is truth in it, both from research and personal experience. Take a stand if not for womankind, but for you. You should always be the leading lady in your own life, you know what you want, go find it and don't settle for anything less then what you deserve. Being alone sucks, not going to lie, but being with Mr. Wrong, will make you feel more alone.
